His Friends Would Follow Him Anywhere, But Only Out of A Morbid Curiosity

One of my friends was inspired by my last post and sent me this wonderful list of remarks that can be used for reports on students, so without further ado, I give you 32 Report Card comments for braindead students. I hope you enjoy.


32 Report Card Comments for Braindead Students:

1. Since our last conference, this student has reached rock bottom and
has started to dig.
2. His friends would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
3. I would not allow this student to breed.
4. This student is really not so much of a has-been as more of a
definite won't-be.
5. Works well under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
6. When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.
7. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
8. This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
9. He sets low personal standards, and then consistently fails to achieve them.
10. This student is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
11. This student should go far, and the sooner he starts the better.
12. He has a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic ring to hold it together.
13. A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
14. He doesn't have ulcers, but he is a carrier.
15. I would like to go hunting with him sometime.
16. He's been working with glue too much.
17. He would argue with a sign post.
18. He brings a lot of joy when he leaves the room.
19. When his IQ reaches 50 he should sell.
20. If you see two people talking and one of them looks bored, he's
the other one.
21. A photographic memory, but with the lense cover glued on.
22. Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
23. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train ain't coming.
24. Had two brains, one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
25. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
26. If you gave him a penny for his thought, you'd get change.
27. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
28. It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm and
made it to conception.
29. One neuron short of a snapse.
30. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled.
31. It takes him 1 1/2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
32. His wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.